For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
