im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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