It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The feeling are messing with the penis
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
