As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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