I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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