And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
