he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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