I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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