All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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