we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i dont even know how to be here
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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