Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
