M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His nipple licking is glorious
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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