I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Semen is not good for contacts.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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