everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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