I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
