you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize