im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
