Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
