that's an acceptable place to lick
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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