Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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