I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
