I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
