I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize