Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
