Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
