So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
