your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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