whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
