He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
