Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
