I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
