There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Sober January is a disaster.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize