how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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