I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
