He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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