i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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