so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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