I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize