WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
