Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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