bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
