I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
