She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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