I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
