Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
