Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
