I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
