You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
