I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
