I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
