There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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