he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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