if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize