Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
