what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize