This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
