you have to choose: penises or morals?
you win again, gameday.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
