He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
