everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
