I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize