I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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