How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Come on in and take your pants off
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